When you pushed me down, Little pieces of me broke off I got up and walked again, But left behind pieces of me The pieces they pierce the skin Work their way inside And there create other pains And…

Source: Shrapnel 



When you pushed me down,
Little pieces of me broke off
I got up and walked again,
But left behind pieces of me
The pieces they pierce the skin
Work their way inside
And there create other pains
And then finally scars
When we fought over who was right
Worlds broke apart
Smashed at my feet
And I tried to step around all those broken pieces
Of me and of you
But some got in
Creeped under my skin
And there they are now,
Reminding me of you and how we are
Shrapnel works itself in towards your heart
Then breaks apart
Opening your heart
Wider to loving who you are

The True Meaning of Christmas

Here are my favorite things about this time of year:  I love the lights, all of them, just to spread joy and color in our darkest days.  I love carols, carolers, and caroling, especially the old-fashioned kind where it was a bit like trick-or-treating only in reverse.  Adults come to your door, give you the gift of song, and hope to be invited in or served hot beverages and treats.  I love cookies in all their hilarious forms of mischief.  I love Christmas trees, decorations, and lights.  I love Mistletoe.

Here are my least favorite things:  I hate the clutter of giving and receiving unnecessary things.  I hate the shopping hell that is created this time of year.  I hate that people think we must always be so cheery and happy all month long in the darkest days of winter.

Also, and this is a big rant of mine, being the daughter of two atheists, one of whom is a holocaust survivor who got all the faith beaten out of him at a tender age: Jesus is NOT the reason for the season.  This time of year is powered by something more.  Christmas traditions are a strange mix of pagan trees, yule logs, Santa Claus, presents, feasting, singing, and celebrating the birthday of Jesus, who may actually have been born in the spring.  In my family, we often also celebrate Hanukkah, and winter solstice.  Whatever it is that your family celebrates, it probably is about lights, new-born babies, children, food, dancing, drinking, and general carrying-on.

So what about what Linus had to say?

Thanks, Linus for your simple message quoting the Bible.  Go forth and spread joy, for you’ve found your faith.  Let others have theirs, and revel in our diversity.  Sing it, Tracey:

And so to end, keep up the light against the darkness.  Shout your Joy into the cold winter wind.  Keep on making life in the face of death.  Because this is how we win at life, even when sometimes it doesn’t much feel as if we are winning.  It’s in the darkest, hardest, coldest days that we most need the light.


Funny conversations

I love to get into all sorts of conversations.  My favorites are the funny ones.  I was talking to my friend C over text messages…. it’s such a weird way to communicate.  And she wants to know if anyone has a recipe for ninjabread men, because some small people in her life really want to make some.  So I say I have a really great recipe, and this:


I shoot back that I could bake her some great gingerdead men or I could just take over the cutter for her to borrow, at which point my daughter borrows the phone and reads the whole conversation aloud.

At the word “ninja”, my son takes off across the room at top speeds, because he must do this every time he hears the word “ninja”.  But it’s not just this word, there are lots of other words which also make him go fast.  “Buttermilk pancakes” (whoosh) “Rocketships”(whoosh) Just about any superhero’s name (whoosh).  And yet, a fruit fly in his bath means he must drain the whole thing.  Telling him he can’t wear his zuzupets slippers to kindergarten can reduce him to a slumping shuffler, as can any mention of cleaning his room.  I must learn somehow to bottle and harness this explosive emotional energy.  I hope to never squash it, or see it fade from him, and yet I fear that is part of growing up.  I watch and enjoy this moment, knowing it’s fading even as I watch.

Rewriting the Rules

(based on this wonderful writing)

I rarely stop to debate with street preachers or bible-thumpers because it is a waste of my time and energy.  However, after attending a city meeting, I just couldn’t help myself.

The Bible is such a great book.  It’s got to be, it’s been on the best-seller list such a long time.  Whether it’s truly written by God, or by men who believed they were the messengers of God, there are really some great stories in it.  So what is in there that is so great?  I think it’s the rules.  We as individuals need rules to live by, and we as a society need rules as well.  And rules that are absolute, that are beyond our questioning minds are comforting too.  We all need parents, someone telling us “Don’t do that…” and when we ask why we are told simply “Because I said so.”  Meaning, don’t bother to trouble your head about this.  These are simply the rules, and if you follow them, everything will be OK.  And that works, up to a point.   If the rules are fair, accurate and up to date, that makes a lot of sense, and is so comforting.  We can focus better on what is in front of us, because we know the boundaries.  But what about when the rules become outdated?  What about when the rules stop being changed, but we keep on living, growing, changing, and pretty soon they just don’t make any sense?

Following outdated rules from the Bible or any other writing does more harm than good.  And these writings have been translated and re-interpreted so many times, I can’t understand how anyone could take it as God’s word.  It is now a work of man, and a living document of our thinking and morals.  It seems logical to me that we have this living document.  It’s always good to look back at ourselves to see where we’ve been.  Hopefully when we do this, we see some of the errors of our ways so we don’t repeat awful history.  I know this is naive of me.  Slavery is depicted in the Bible, and there it still is, for the first 100-200 years of our own country’s history.  Stoning seems like a pretty bad idea on so many levels, but I have heard people professing in public that this is acceptable simply because it says in a living document that God says it’s OK.

I know that the God I believe in would not approve of this, and if I choose to eat pork or sleep in on Sundays or wear short skirts or sing really loud or love a person, any god that exists in my belief system would still love me.  In fact, I think that whatever mysterious power or being is responsible for this miracle of life on earth has a pretty sharp sense of humor, and is thrilled with all the variety of life and thought that has grown on this round marble we call home.  But what do I know, anyway?  I’m a small speck on a little planet among many, and whatever thoughts I have of the divine, I wonder if they even impact whatever mysterious power or source is out there.

Considering the Divine.  Just another way I spend my days, especially while I’m creating something of my own.IMAG0532


There are many stories that are not true, which I find to be true.  Most recent in my findings have been The Life of Pi (I just finished watching the movie with my kids) and Thirteen Moons.  The Life of Pi is one man’s accounting of the time he spent on a lifeboat at sea with a tiger.  The Thirteen Moons chronicles the long life of a man who starts his career at the tender age of thirteen by finding and running a trading post in Indian Territory in the days of the Frontier.

Both talk about the changing nature of truth, and how differently we can remember the past from just what the facts are.  They are both personal accounts of life events that happened, but what I love about both of these stories is that they honestly own up to the inaccuracy of personal perspective.  What we think is a true accounting of a happening is not necessarily the way it actually happened.  In fact, where exactly does the truth lie?  There is personal truth for each of us, and facts that we hide from ourselves.

In the end, we are all on our own journey, and though we meet people along our way, we travel alone and the way we see the world and it’s happenings is unique.